The Fall season is a perfect time to release old energy - to release the dream that didn't come through in the cycle of the year. Sure, we have this opportunity every full moon... But the season is about releasing the grief, sadness, and shedding old dreams that didn't come true.
It is completely normal to have dreams shift frequently... who you are one day, dreaming about your future, is different from who you are a week, month, or even a year later. As we change and grow, our dreams must shift with us.
Think about it: how often do you start a daydream.... whether its a new job/promotion, new home, traveling
more, exercising more... or maybe it's falling in love with someone, or perhaps, falling out of love with
someone. We daydream all the time.
Slowly, we connect these dreams to the layers of our body/lived experience: logical, energy/emotional, spiritual, and physical. When we put words to those dreams, we send it out in to the world to be heard as a logical choice for our path. When we feel emotional about it, we connect the dream with our energy/emotional body and it begins to hold space. When we start to set plans around the dream, we connect our spiritual and physical to the outcome. When something doesn't happen that we desperately want... it feels like a pit in the stomach... vision or intuition gets clouded... the heart and emotions are bogged down with anger, guilt, frustration, or otherwise... and the brain (logic body) might begin to fill us with doubt and insecurity.
Now. Consider that process of on boarding a new dream. Then, consider how often we speak and feel our
dreams. What about the ones we desperately want.... those hold a lot of weight in our energetic body.
When they compile and stack up in our form, and we don't clear out the reaction to those old dreams that
aren't released... well... it gets burdensome. We can feel overwhelmed more easily, perhaps we get hard on
ourselves for things "unfinished"or "undiscovered".
What we need to do is give ourself space. Space to exhale and feel release emotionally and mentally. Space
in our bodies to relax and feel confident. As long as we are holding all our old dreams, we won't feel fresh,
relaxed, self aware, and capable of taking on a new phase. By releasing the old, realizing it is not meant for
us, we give ourselves physical energy, emotional support, and mental acuity to bring in a new dream. If you
are a working parent, or a caretaker, you might not have lots of space... worry not, you can achieve this over time.
So how do we go about doing this?
Well, we don't always realize our unfulfilled dreams are not going to happen as soon as life serves us that
truth. Sometimes we aren't ready for the truth. Other times we are distracted with life to realize it has come and gone. Therefore, the first two steps are hand in hand:
1+2 - patience and compassion
You cannot be self aware with the changes that are going on if you beat yourself up for every "missed
opportunity". As such, patience is key. You have to be patient and live life - let your world unfold as the great adventure that it is... and be compassionate with yourself if in hindsight you "missed an opportunity". If it didn't happen, it might not really have been meant to be. Take some comfort in that video.
3- Self awareness
Make a monthly or seasonal time for yourself to go through what you are hoping for (if it helps, write a list
down in a journal to keep track). What do you REALLY want. Even if you kind of want it for yourself, or your family... write it down.
4- Re-asses old lists when major life shifts happen
*this is a key point... you can't reassess big dreams super frequently... it takes time - life must happen, we
must live and experience and shift ourselves before we can reflect fully on our old dreams*
Do you still want that thing? How does it make your body feel when you think of it? What does your intuition say? Don't judge yourself if something didn't happen, or if you feel silly in retrospect for an idea. Who we are at the time we make plans or craft dreams are a different person from who we are in the moment. You are different, you are older and wiser (ideally), so reflect with self love and grace.
5- Act when it is time to let go
This is a tricky one. We don't always know perfect timing... so perhaps perfect timing is just when something happens. As such, when it is time to let someone or something go - and you are ready - then it is perfect timing.
How to let go is very personal to everyone. Some like to do a fire ritual to burn a symbol, paper or effigy of
the thing they are releasing. Others like to do a big cleansing of their space, personal belongings. I know
many who write poetry and music to release their emotions, creating a new relationship and purpose from
the energy of the old dream. Personally, I journey to my guides and do healing sessions, I dance, I cry, and I
talk about the release (a lot).
A couple of years ago, I had a big release with flower essences and plant medicine. The flower essences helped me unpack the distraction around something very big and profound: whether or not I should bring in another child to the world. Deep down my intuition always screamed NO - but my giddy hormones said "but mayyyyybe???". Long story short (that involved lots of self-healing sessions, addressing ancestral wounds, confronting fears) I recognized it was not going to happen. So I had to release.
I ate ice cream and cried... a lot... for about a month. I was happy, don't get me wrong. I was super relieved
that the discovery was finally made. But I had to let my body feel the feels as I said goodbye to what was not mean to be.
By acknowledging the release, I was able to let my logic brain say goodbye. Through crying and dance and
self indulgence with ice cream, my physical body was addressed. Through self healing, my emotional body
was returned to harmonic balanced states. And through journeys and ceremonies, my spiritual body was
able to transition that dream into neutral energy from which future dreams would be conceived. I didn't
know what the new dream was going to be... which brings me to point six.
6- Be open to surprises
No, the old dream might not happen... but you also don't always have to plan and control what will happen.
Sometimes, when we are open to blessings of abundance from our guides and the universe, something
even more exciting can happen. That space I didn't use to birth another human, became the space I needed to birth my divine truth. After I grieved the old dream that was not to be, I became impregnated with a new dream of wanting to know and embody my truest most divine self. It was a few months later that I felt that embodiment begin. Now, I rest to create... meaning, I have birthed myself and just like a newborn... I need to sleep to really harness my creative energy before I cultivate new dreams.
What does that look like? Well, honestly... living daily - and planning only a couple weeks in advance. Not
committing to too much in the future, and trusting that if something is meant to be, it will let itself be known to me. Otherwise, I am not controlling, planning or doing too much. I am resting, fulfilling some old projects that are still in the works, but not starting new creative projects. There is always work to be done with releasing old dreams... but for now, I feel pretty darn open/empty (in the best way possible).
What needs to be grieved by you? Are you ready to release it fully? Do you have time to rest your body after you do so? Remember, you hold all the past with you until you don't.... try to give yourself compassion and don't overburden your heart. Let the old dreams go.